I do this a lot, and I don’t even realize it. I will hark on a subject I feel fondly about religiously. I do this mostly to myself. It’s an inner dialog, and I realize now… I’m tired of listening to my own babble.
I was talking to someone tonight who did nothing but exude the positive assets of his coworker. Even though he was interested in speaking with me, as a person, he forgot that I was there; and spoke only of her and all her amazing qualities.
Jealous? No, I can honestly say. No reason for that, it isn’t that kind of relationship. However, in his long-winded diatribe, I saw myself reflected back in his overly expensive lenses, jabbering on and on, and came to the conclusion that I hate that. Even in myself.
I don’t like the fact that I tend to obsess, even though they are the good things. I can take a freaking spring day and write a book about it. I can be in the throws of new love and think of nothing else for days and weeks and months. I can remember the delicacies of years ago and recall the flavors even now. I think, perhaps, I think too much. And hold on too long.
Maybe I’m just having a cynical day. And maybe not. Maybe this is reality creeping in. And maybe it’s not.
Either way, I’ve got to shut the hell up or I’m going to drive myself insane.
Lesson for the day: Think less. Do more.
