You got it?

We’ve all had conversations where the person talking says, “You get what I’m talking about?” or “Do you understand what I’m saying?” … and we’ve all nodded and said “oh, yeah”, even though we had absolutely no clue. 

We say yes because we don’t really care to understand and want to change the subject, or it was just way over our head … and we don’t have enough interest to ask for clarification, or we pretend to be smarter than we are. I’ve done it, you’ve done, we all do it.

But what if that person was trying to tell us something really important? What if we zone out on a really integral lesson, being placed right at our feet – but we’re just too lazy to pick it up.

Every single day holds potential to learn something new. It’s out there, all we’ve got to do is pay attention.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we always went about our days and nights with open minds and hearts?  … but we don’t, we’re human. 

I am a student and I am a teacher. All I can teach is what I think I know, and I am hungry to learn things I didn’t even know existed. Unfortunately, I am consistantly faced with the same lessons over and over. 

I guess I’m just not “getting it.”

And I’d really like to get it. I want to understand. I’m open to changing the way I think and what I believe, if it would advance me on my path. But there seems to be so  little guidance sometimes. And I find myself trying to work with what I have, but times like now, it isn’t enough. 

I ask for help, but that hasn’t turned out well. I think I must live in a very strange bubble that nobody can relate to. Because I’m not interested in advice that involves any kind of revenge or anger or retaliation. I just want help processing difficult emotion without causing more harm.  I think I’m asking for help from the wrong people. 

But where are the ones I need? Where are the people who can listen to me without judgement or debasement? Who can I speak my truth to that will look past my words and just see me and my desire to heal the situation?

It’s really kinda sad. Thank god for god. Because right now, that’s all I’ve got.